RJK 5000

Whoa, I feel really good. Everyone in my life is awesome. I want to bake the largest cake in the world so we can all play on it. Mike V. can do the backstroke in the frosting.

Change is definitely in the air. Lots of people I know are quitting their jobs and breaking off from their boyfriends or girlfriends. The world is big and its energy is churning and burning and zapping people onto paths towards new places and things. It is the fire pig. It is your karma. It is so exciting.

What is going to happen to me. When are we going to party. Are you moving. There’s been a terrible accident. They are engaged. Guess who I ran into. She’s a liar. They have the cutest baby. He’s turning 50. oh, bad knees.  All my friends are dying.

i am a cognitive behavioral therapy success story. my eating habits have been exceptional and i have managed to squeeze myself into my favorite blue jeans again. my therapist (me) says I should be proud about losing ten pounds since summertime (five pounds since my enrollment in therapy). yay.

when one experiences a significant life event, one either gets fat or gets skinny. when i moved into my condo and adopted charlotte and settled myself comfortably into my new domestic lifestyle, i got fat. But now. now i have let go and have been released of old habits and things and personalities and am carrying on. i have been busy. making appointments. making plans. keeping plans. penciling people in. seeing people. grabbing drinks. driving around. going crazy. no wonder i have lost weight, i am running running and running. but what else can i do. i can’t feel bad for myself. I can’t sit alone until i deflate into depression. I am a single woman (yes) living in a beautiful place. i don’t feel bad for myself. and I don’t want to feel bad for anybody.

i am a packrat. my precious old habits and things and personalities are securely stashed away where I can revisit them as needed. they are extremely valuable and i mean to protect them for the rest of my life.  It is not baggage; it’s a treasure chest.

cheer up, life is life.

please carry on.

I am about to go to bed.  I don’t even know what to say right now.

am i hungover or what. what is this funny feeling in my stomach. !

i spent the earlier part of friday night at the cave bar with the mean ‘lenes. we went to footy’s afterwards and met up with a good-sized crew of people. jameson. beer. where’s our pacifico. afterwards, a few of us entertained ourselves at the secret afterhours party at the pub. I was amazed by the abundance of positive energy surrounding me. swimmy.

Last night I had drinks at various spots in pasadena. checked out bodega wine bar for the first time. it feels like tv in there, but I liked it. i did not drink wine, just beer. more amazement.

soon i will be heading out to meet luna at starbucks.

a nice weekend indeed.

I’m tired.  I think I am going to go to sleep now!

Dishes are not done.

Oh well.

I went to the bar tonight. by myself. it was great.

yeah!

now i am going to watch the old “kung fu” television series with david carradine as caine. in yellowface. totally legit yellowface too.

yeah.

I ran/walked a whole bunch of miles on the treadmill and now I’m feeling way better.

I want to eat breakfast. Once in high school, I told my friend (j. mcgaha) to meet me at Hi-Life before first period, so we could eat breakfast. And I totally forgot to show/wake up. He wasn’t mad.

Another time in high school, I walked to Pavilions before first period and bought a pack of powdered donuts and a bottle of milk. I don’t remember eating them though.

I wonder if I have it in me to stop somewhere before work.  an egg mcmuffin?  coffee and a bran muffin?  ugh.  I don’t have it in me.

It probably wasn’t a good idea to sit at home and eat junk food and watch television all day.  I am feeling really depressed now.  talk about year of the pig.  I guess it really is better for me to stay busy these days.

The weather is not good for running, skateboarding, or dogparking today.  I am just enjoying time by myself at home.

I ate junk food and watched television.

I want it to rain some more.

This long weekend is great. I feel like I don’t know what to do with myself. Been trying to keep myself busy because I heard that is one of the best things I could do for myself but you know me, i love being busy with doing nothing.

i woke up about 15 minutes ago, after getting eleven hours of sleep. charlotte kept scratching my scalp around 10am, but she finally quit and slept in until noon with me. i had very weird and crazy dreams and when I woke up my eyelids were crusted shut, as if some serious stuff went down in those dreams. i feel good now though.

i just called my mom. she invited me over to her house later saying, “i have a lot of food. i wish you could come.”

yesterday i spent the day at venice beach with teena. we had lunch and a beer at a nice french cafe on abbot kinney. and then we walked down the boardwalk where she didn’t like seeing all the gangsters and their pitbulls. haha. we kicked it on the sand for a bit and headed home. we agreed we enjoyed our saturday afternoon.

i slept too much and now i don’t feel like doing anything. so i probably won’t.