RJK 5000

nothing really new to report. it rained pretty hard tonight so i took it as a permit to ditch kung fu class. i drank white tea and watched american idol. yeah, i was one out of 30 million, so special. paula was drunk again. on loveline, dr. drew said she was clearly intoxicated and that she needed help. if i ever get paid millions of dollars to get my buzz on to judge people and shatter their dreams of ever becoming a superstar, don’t try to help me. just party with me.

i went to the gym and ramped up my cardio. it felt good. i knew lots (two) of the people at the gym tonight. even the “popular” hip hop dude is trying to be my friend now. but i like when they just wave and go away.

my therapist (me) said if i want to purchase those boots, i can. but. i have to purchase them with my fives. i rarely use green ca$h money, but whenever i come across a five dollar bill, i don’t spend it. i save it in a metal box buried three feet underground and 25 paces behind the pecan tree in my backyard instead. i have been saving fives for about a year now, hoping that one day i will spend the money on some sort of worthwhile luxury item. i have accumulated a small stack of them now. i told my therapist that i still wasn’t sure about spending my special savings on the boots. she said i must not really want the boots because i’m afraid i will never wear them because i have low self-esteem and i fear the money will just end up being wasted on useless boots. i guess she knows me pretty well.

her suggestion was that i should reward myself with the boots. like lose at least two pounds to boost my confidence and then be happy to use my fives to treat myself for losing weight. and then i should make sure to wear the boots on valentine’s day so they get some usage. that seems like good counseling, but if she really thinks i can lose two pounds before valentine’s day then she is the one who needs therapy.

these are the boots. do you think they are not worth my sanity.

i am hungry right now.

I just did total gym and pilates. i lowered the incline on the total gym because i wasn’t pleased with the results i was getting with the higher resistance. plus, i viewed the infomercial last night and chuck norris’ wife was doing level three because she said she didn’t want to get bulky. i am doing level four because level three is too boring and i will get tired before i ever get bulky.

i am seeing and feeling some positive results from practicing pilates. i still get a headache when i do the long workout but i think my breathing technique has improved. my midsection appears leaner and slouching is beginning to feel unnatural to me. pilates should be added to the physical education curriculum in elementary schools. along with good ol’ lummi sticks and square dancing. oh and parachute and scooter boards. did your school have parachute and scooter boards. mine did.

i didn’t really do anything exciting today. i just existed and that’s about it. i had lunch with my mom and then after work i made some high fiber carrot apple muffins with the power juice pulp. the muffins were not very tasty because I refused to use flour, oil, or sugar. they would have been good if I used wheat flour but i didn’t really care that much. i quit baking. i hung my oven up there next to peg bundy’s.

i watched antiques roadshow. they showed a martin guitar that was worth over $50,000. and an elaborate looking ring with a fake emerald. haha you thought it was real but who cares anyway.

i looked at boots online. The boots that i have been wanting are on clearance. i would like to purchase them but i got fired from my part-time job with Google so it seems like an even worse idea to buy them now. i need to keep my nose in my pocketbook or whatever you said that i do that annoys you so much. i have not updated my running shoes yet either.

i am going to read and relax now. the best part of the day.

I had a party weekend.  on friday night I met up with the mean ‘lenes and robot rappers for drinks.  there was a line to get into the cave bar, which was stupid and dramatic.  so we went to footsie’s then partied at the raphouse afterwards.  it was fun.  i was happy to hang out with jo and dar.  they are kind of crazy.

I was slightly hungover on saturday but not too bad.  jonny made me delicious seafood pasta and then we drank wine and i felt better.  we picked up nicoteena and then went to dj albert’s thirtieth birthday party.  it was a fun party.  people were playing horns and eating soul food.  afterwards, we went back to nicoteena’s house and I drank absinthe without the sugar cube.  we didn’t leave until pretty late.  finally went to sleep around 6am.

felt fuzzy today.  power juiced.  made iced mochas.  jonny took me to philippe’s where I washed down vegetable beef stew, a turkey dip sandwich, and a slice of carrot cake with a miller lite.

this was a good weekend.  too bad tomorrow is monday.

i might drink some warm milk like mr. roeper and go to bed.

as i was walking to my car after my workout, an old man in a pickup truck pulled up next to me and pointed his finger, like, “you going that way? need a ride?” i said no. i don’t even understand that. who would be like, okay! maybe i looked like a needy hobo. or a streetwalker. that has happened a few times actually. and one time the metro bus pulled over and the driver asked me if I needed a ride. i would have taken it if i was 16. but are these people good guys or bad guys and are they for real.

in junior high school, i was going for a walk around my block and i saw a big unleashed dog on somebody’s lawn. and as i tried to walk by it, it growled and came closer to me, staring me down. i stopped and tried to walk past it very slowly, but every time i shifted my weight it snarled and crouched, as if it was going to pounce on me and eat me alive. i didn’t know what to do so i just stood there, afraid to move. then an old man in a buick pulled up alongside me and opened the passenger door and said, “here, get in.” and i did! he said his wife across the street was watching me and made him rescue me. he drove me about three houses down and stopped and let me out. he was definitely a good guy.

when i was in high school, geraldine and i used to take the bus and train all over southern california and hit up all the cool skate spots. we would lose track of time and be stranded somewhere (eg, the 909 before it was the 909) because the buses stopped running. we took lots of rides from strangers and weren’t worried about anything at all. i guess we weren’t very smart but certainly lucky.

back in 1986, i liked the movie the hitcher. i don’t really remember much about it, but i liked the one scene where the raindrop is hanging on the tip of the hitcher’s nose and the driver sees it and chuckles. i hope they included that in the remake, it seemed pretty important. ?. in the movie, the hitchhiker is the bad guy, not the people kind enough to give him a lift. in real life, anyone could be the bad guy. but have you ever seen a real hitchhiker. did you get excited and want to take a picture of him. they are rare beings.  i think if you see one, it’s good luck or something.

well, i am so happy it is finally friday. i can’t wait to sleep in on saturday morning!

Today was cool. I had lunch in old town pasadena with Kluna. i can count all my real friends on one hand. and on the other hand, i can always count on all my real friends. ” 0:) ”

after work jonny took me out to sushi in little tokyo. it was good. i really like 99-cent Kirin drafts. and then he bought himself a hat without even trying it on first. he is crazy.

i am really starting to like pilates. sometimes i do the stretches while closing my eyes to concentrate on my breathing. tonight my eyes were closed and charlotte snuck up on me and stuck her teeth and tongue inside my nostrils. she is weird.

i better go now before i run out of television time.

My kung fu finally felt a little more normal today. I haven’t gotten hang of the leg sweeps and all the fancy footwork yet though. And right when I start becoming confident with my chi sao, Sifu unleashes some crazy maneuver to remind me what’s really up. It’s all very fun. I saw two of the senior guys sparring and now i know which one can beat the other one up.

i still need to buy new running shoes. my knees and ankles start becoming sore while i’m running my warm-up mile. i sort of lose motivation after that. plus, i haven’t created the hoyjogger mix cd yet, so it is just becoming harder to get my fix.

cognitive behavioral therapy (cbt) is amazing. it helps you recover by reprogramming your brain, like you are a robot. i am applying cbt in a way that will reprogram my brain to make me bust fs flips on the bank.

the ninja board has found a new home. “just across the bridge” and down the street. one of my top 8 friends, mike v., came and picked it up this evening. it was good to see him. he and the ninjas are going to get along just fine. i am happy to know that the ninjas will be paying half his rent now (it’s a youtube link; thanks dan!)

i’m going to go play with charlotte now.

I did not do anything exciting or interesting today.  i heard on day to day that a British “study” theorized today to be the most depressing day of the year.  because it is the time of year where we are all supposed to be overextended in finances, our waistlines, and our immunity.  also a monday.  but i felt way more depressed six days ago.  i posit that the most depressing day of the year is n-6, where n = what the the silly Brits think.

my head has been hurting a lot lately.  i hope it gets better because i never want to go to a doctor.

I had a good weekend. Jonny came over on Friday night and then we just drank a lot of wine. We shared a nice bottle of cabernet and then I pulled out a bottle of Charles Shaw merlot from my private collection. haha. it smelled like dirt, I couldn’t believe it. after a little while it was fine though. i also used the fancy inn crystal wine glasses that my brother and edna got me for christmas. i was going to “save” the glasses for special occasions, but my mom told me that i shouldn’t wait to use any of my nice things. i may end up never using them or not using them enough. so now i always drink out of fancy wine glasses and always add a scoop of oxi clean to the wash.

we woke up early on saturday morning with hangovers and headaches to head down to sorrento valley (san diego) for the mr. and mrs. chrissy and mario wedding reception. mario is another skate buddy from college. he used to vibe me on the blocks before i knew him, but then we became totally cool. i hadn’t seen him since 1999 and there were a few other college buddies at the party who i hadn’t seen since then too. it was really awesome. i missed them. mario has really cool tattoos, a band of spitfire flame heads and other cool stuff that i don’t really remember. back in college he told me he was going to wear long sleeves to hide his tats because he was supposed to go meet chrissy’s (his wife) parents. i talked about that into the microphone at the reception. it was fun. the reception was really nice. it was at the karl strauss brewery gardens. i drank a lot of beers which did wonders for my hangover. switch ricks had two glasses of wine and was passing out. haha. red trolley is always going to remind me of mario now:

danny said he didn’t want to be on the internet:

lara the most beautiful girl, switch ricks, and i:

on the way home we stopped at the irvine spectrum center. i had never been there before, but i thought it was the block. haha. we wanted to eat at javier’s but the wait was two hours, which was stupid. we went to villa sombrero instead, where i couldn’t drink a margarita because i had too much alcohol in my system i thought i would throw up. so i just had a beer instead. a light beer!

today i mostly chilled. jonny treated me to chinese food at sun’s which is the best chinese food in the neighborhood. and then later i relapsed and fell into a bad episode of binge eating. i felt so guilty and gross that i almost induced vomiting. but then i did pilates instead. my therapist (me) says i just gotta take it one day at a time. and run ten extra miles tomorrow.

i think i will crawl into bed now. i wonder what sunday night movie is on.

Wow. I am tired. my kung fu was pretty bad. i punched my own nose. And I couldn’t run very far on the treadmill. I had to walk a couple of miles.

i felt mad at itunes because the default setting did not rip my cds as mp3s. so i could not burn the rjkizzle hoyjogger mix 5000 cd. so annoying. it felt weird being mad. my therapist (me) says my emotions are going through a cycle. depressed. mad. something else tomorrow, but she didn’t say what. my brain chemicals are figuring things out. homeostasis or something. i hope the wheel lands on something good tomorrow.

i forgot my cellular telephone at work today. it seems like it didn’t even matter.

happy friday. i am going to my mom’s house for lunch. I have been looking forward to it all week.

i am at work right now.  my cold symptoms are worse today than yesterday.  my bed was so warm and cozy this morning, i wanted to call in sick.  it seemed healthier to just come to work though.

yesterday at vons, mcblack wesley gave me a reese’s peanut butter cup.  I ate it just a little while ago.  I asked him why he was giving me a pb cup and he said, “why are your eyes slanted, why is your hair so nice.”  haha. 

i did pilates last night.  my least favorite pilates exercise is the saw.  remember when i fell off the mini-ramp and broke my butt bone?  whenever i do the saw and bend at the waist, my butt bone gets sore.

well, i better go do some work now.  oh, it’s lunch time!  haha.