RJK 5000

I am disoriented and all crazy.  I keep forgetting what day it is and what time it is.  Feels like tomorrow is Friday.  Feels like now is 9pm.  Feels like pawns can move two spaces.

I worked from home today so maybe that’s why I’m all messed up.  Just stayed in my pajamas.  After I did some work, Jonny and I chilled in Pasadena.  Eating and shopping and looking at dogs at the humane society.  Most of the dogs were pitbulls with pretty eyes and indeterminable character.  Didn’t see anybody as awesome as Charlotte there.  How did I end up with such a winsome pup.

I woke up this morning with an excruciating cramp in my right calf muscle.  I went to bed energy ballin’ and super hungry.  And while my leg was cramping I regretted eating so few calories yesterday.  Not sure whether they are associated, but maybe my calf is trying to tell me something.  I ate more today.  Great, now my looking-glass calf talks.

Anyway.  That’s all.  I’m boring myself now.  I better go figure out what time and place this is.

I feel good again.  All day I was looking forward to running on the treadmill and I knew it was going to be the last thing that I did today.  It is my second favorite medicine, I feel like a million bucks (all payable in gift cards).  I’ve temporarily discontinued using the leg press machine at the gym because too many yentas just sit around on it and I just don’t want to be associated in any way with that jewish crap.  Just kidding.  some of my best friends are jewish.  I stopped using the leg press because I’m on a new strength training regimen that doesn’t require all that mechanic fustlethrum.  Probably going to fail.

Super diet news:  It is day 80-something.  I ate less than 800 calories again.  And burned more than 300 at the gym.  I lost another pound, but I think it might be superficial weight loss.  I need to stay focused if I want to fit into the dress that I’m planning on wearing to Takashi’s wedding.  Also, my ’70s soup turned out pretty good.

Today Charlotte and I killed a bird.  A pretty little dove.  During our afternoon walk I noticed Charlotte eyeing the bird, ready to pounce.  I did not retract the leash quickly enough because I was too busy fueling my own cruel curiosity as to whether she could actually catch the bird or not.  I retracted the leash as soon as she made contact with the bird, but it was kind of hard to pull her back since she kept on trying to follow it wherever it tried to fly to.  It couldn’t fly away though.  Charlotte must have injured its wing or something, there were feathers everywhere.  The bird jumped off the curb away from us and into the street.  I should have rescued it from the roadway, but I didn’t really want to even though I felt terrible.  During our twilight walk I noticed the bird was run over.  I saw that Charlotte saw too but neither one of us said anything about it.  we just kept walking.

I copied Miki and decided to make a soup in the o.g. slow cooker.  I just took a taste and coughed because the broth is like 50% chicken broth and 150% Sriracha.  sm00ooth.

After work Jonny took me out for sushi.  I didn’t drink beer with my yellowtail and it was fine.

Then I came home and rode my bike to the library and picked up a couple more books. Pretty excited about them too.

Charlotte threw up on the walkway and it splattered like a drunk person’s.  It was weird but she was a good sport. 

Today was a good day.  I felt like I had enough time for everything.  I guess cutting out of work early helped.

Now I’m going to get some television and book time in.  And sleep time I hope.

Haha, I just got worried because I smell skunk.  But it’s coming from outdoors, not the Ashton Kutcher.  I feel really good.

I had a nice weekend.  I ate a whole bunch of cheese with wine, apples, and champagne grapes.  My brother told me to get some champagne grapes and then Jonny bought me some.  They are just pretty little grapes.  I liked having them around on the plate as garnish more than I liked eating them.  I’m happy to have cheese back in my life.

I went to Luna’s barbecue today.  She moved into a cute little bungalow in Pasadena.  Jen and Shannon were there too.  All of those girls were my roommates in college and we all managed to stay close friends.  Isn’t that neat.  They are all “best friends” with each other too.  I don’t hang out with them very often, but they are still my real friends.  And real friends are better than best friends anyway.  I hate best friends.  haha.

I’m going to read and try to sleep now. 

I was so tired last night, I fell asleep before 12:30.  It’s past 12:30 now and I am not sleepy at all.  I made the mistake of jumping rope at the gym.  That exercise inflates the energy ball and I just end up bouncing it around all night.  I feel great though. 

I had to switch treadmills in the middle of my workout because the guy on the one next to me had distracting body odor.  Isn’t that weird.  He’s like an X-man.  Just runs in place for a minute to repel the enemy with superstink.  Okay not as heroic, but still amazing.

I haven’t lost any more weight.  Takashi’s wedding is right around the corner so I need to ditch this chub asap.

I’m going to read and massage Charlotte’s gums now.

Oh, it’s friday!  smile!

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I’m supposed to be in kung fu class right now.  I keep ditching and I’m enjoying the extra time I have to be at home.  I did a whole bunch of productive stuff like take a nap and grind coffee beans.  During my storage binning binge I found a little Australian souvenir license plate that rodolfo5k sent me.  It says “jenny” on it.  Well, I put that on my bicycle today.  I secured it with a little padlock to discourage theft too.  If people steal Jack in the Box antenna ballz, somebody is probably going to want that license plate even if their name is not Jenny.  Anyway, it’s hanging slightly crooked and covering the reflector that was probably going to save my life.

They used to give out similar bicycle license plates as prizes inside boxes of Honey Comb cereal back when I was a kid.  The plates would say things like “AWESOME.”  I used to attach them to the back of my banana seat because I used to be awesome.  Now just Jenny.

Do you like my bike.  It’s a huffy and hipster but really fun to ride.  Got it for $15 from Out of the Closet (pocketbook).   I put a dogtown sticker on the front of it.  Also got my Diamondback from out of the closet last year for the same great price (pb).  The bikes make their photographic debut on this famous blog today. 

Gratuitious charlotte photo.  Taken one minute ago:

Okay. I’m going to exercise now.  Thank you for looking at my bikes and my dog.

My weekend: ended too quickly.  tony hawk pro skater, new coffee grinder, chicken and mozzarella, wine.  the annual wing chun barbecue.  deerslayer brought some elk that his best friend hunted.  weird but tasty.  met norman’s wife and kids.  seriously a lovely family.  good food, nice people, fun.  luckyyy.

I did a little bit more cleaning but not much.  It’s hard to stay focused on chores on a Friday night no matter how fun they are.  Right now I’m in the home office, but I’m lounging on the futon and not sitting at the desk.  I’m going to try to spend more time in this room, it’s cozy.  The walls are purple.

Also, I cured 87% of my lactose intolerance.  One arm of the rjk super diet experiment investigates the effect of certain lifestyle modifications on lactose intolerance.  I pretty much cured myself by introducing yogurt and cheese into my diet and accessorizing my outfits with strings of black pearls and quartz crystals.  I drank a glass of regular (ie, not lactose reduced) nonfat milk with nearly no effects today, but that was with the energy amulet in my pocket.  I feel like I need to share my findings with the world but first I need to run more tests.  Any volunteers.  I’m looking for nonpregnant women over 25 years of age who believe in magic. 

Maybe I’ll go to sleep now.  I want to enjoy Saturday morning.

Haha, Charlotte just rolled off the futon.  She didn’t get hurt but she looks like she got a little embarrassed.

Ugh, it’s so late.  I just got done storage binning and sweeping up.  Well, I’m not done, I’m just done for tonight.  The fun continues tomorrow.  And it actually really is fun.  I cleaned up the “home office” and it seems like a pretty nice place to medical edit while watching I Love Lucy and tossing almonds to the dog.

My new neighbor who walks around in his boxers gave me a cheese danish today.  I didn’t want it, but he insisted.  Every time he asks me a question he ends it with “or what.”  “You don’t like danishes or what.” 

I went to my favorite coffeeshop during lunch and ran into Jeff H. and a few other people.  They were just sitting there drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes.  So I was standing on (blocking/hogging) the sidewalk talking to them when I felt something like someone shoving me from behind.  When I looked over my shoulder I saw a little old man with headphones who looked like a garden gnome (but not as cute or cool looking) speedwalk right on by like he was on a mission.  It was funny to me because when you resemble a gnome you can just do things like that and it’s more rad than rude.

After work I went to my second favorite grocery store and something crazy happened.  A complete stranger recognized me from my blog.  Yeah, this blog.  “realjennykim?”  Haha.  He said he has been reading my blog for four or five years now, which is nuts, but awesome.  He seemed like a normal healthy active human being, which is weird because I thought you guys were all crazy with worse problems than me.  I don’t know what to think of you now.  I did notice he was purchasing two cartons of orange juice, which seems like too much vitamin C for one guy. 

Anyway, today was just kind of a weird day.  I am superstitious and I think it had to do with the string of black pearls I wore around my neck.  Okay, that sounds kind of weird.  But whatever.  I am tired now.  I am also a famous blogger now. So my fingers need to get their beauty rest if they want to type tomorrow to keep the public happy.  Haha.

Have a good weekend.