bookmark_bordersimple life

I think the days of lockdown might be getting to Eddie. He actually resorted to eating cereal for breakfast 😂. He’d been traumatized by cold breakfasts in his teen years, so seeing him enjoy a bowl of Honey Bunches of Oats was definitely something.

Today was a mellow day. I like Sundays like this…I worked, read (Talking to Strangers by Malcolm Gladwell), watched Jeopardy! reruns on Netflix, watched Property Brothers, watched an episode of The Office (first time ever), and probably watched a bunch of other stuff.

We ventured out in the rain to buy wine, but the Japanese market was closed. We went to 7 Eleven, but it’s a lame one that doesn’t sell alcohol. We got the next best thing: Flamin’ Hot Cheetos and Doritos.

I’m going to watch more TV and try to doze off. I want to wake up in the vortex early.

Stay safe.

bookmark_border1 hug limit

Tonight was probably the first night we all met for family dinner and didn’t give out hugs. Social distancing, even though we sat at the same table and shared a delicious homemade meal, where chopsticks contaminated the banchan, and nobody wavered.

This morning I drove all the way to the language school to teach the morning classes, but the school was closed. The subs are always the last to know anything.

I am tired tonight. It is 12:23am. I wish the blog template would put a timestamp, but I can’t get it to do it. I was reading Stillness is the Key and remembered I needed to write and tell you about the lack of hugs. Now back to bed.

bookmark_borderwe know more than we think

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about afterlife. I’m pretty certain our energy goes someplace after our bodies die and can no longer carry it. I’ve also been wondering about my previous lives. I’ve been hearing a lot of stories about people being hypnotized and being able to mentally travel into the astral field to recall a past life. Under hypnosis, they may give a name and a birthday and say something like, “I’m Eva, and I’m in Auschwitz with my brother Victor” and all of the things they mention could be fact checked to confirm that Eva born on such date indeed existed, then died in the Holocaust. And so did her brother, Victor.

Yesterday, after walking out of the Korean market because the lines were ridiculously long, I wondered why so many people were acting like it was the end of the world. I was kind of annoyed at all the panic buying and hoarding, like they’ve never experienced a pandemic before or something. Then I realized that most of the shoppers really had never experienced a pandemic before, and I started to understand why they were so scared. I thought to myself, “This is a first for all these folks. No wonder.” At that moment, I felt like I had some form of knowledge or consciousness that kept me from being scared or even tripped out about the whole coronavirus thing. I’m not sure what it was, but I think it stems from a past life experience. Is it crazy to think about the possibility that I may have experienced, survived, or perished in the 1918 Spanish flu pandemic in a past life, and that this is nothing new to me? Or maybe it has nothing to do with a past life, but just my past: I may have read about pandemics on a standardized reading comprehension test in elementary school. And I carry some subconscious knowledge. Either way, I felt a sense of knowing and a strong sense of presence—my consciousness comforts me.

And for that I am grateful and I feel aligned.

Hope everyone is staying safe and healthy in these weird times. I am. Also staying weird.

bookmark_borderhouse arrest

Things are getting weirder and weirder with the COVID-19 pandemic pandemonium. LA is on pseudo-lockdown, with the restaurants and bars being closed to inhouse dining. Takeout only. But the truth is that life feels the same to me. The language school hasn’t closed yet so I’m still teaching when I’m needed there. And I am a homebody anyway, so nothing has changed too much for me. Just bummed I can’t stroll into Umami for my Impossible Burger and pint of Stoner Duck. (Thank Eddie for the Hello Kitty cabernet.)

I like the vibe though. It is quiet outside. Slower. More peaceful. Even though underneath the quilt of calmness there is fear, hoarding, and so much economic uneasiness. But at present, the stillness is good.

Today, at the end of one of my classes, my students applauded. One student said, “Teacher, thank you for your kindness” with his hands together like prayer form. This is why I like teaching.

I do miss bouldering.

bookmark_borderthink nothing

Hello. I’ve decided to resurrect this blog once again. I don’t know why I’ve had such a hard time bringing it back to life, especially when it was such an important part of my life back in the day. I think part of it was because “everybody” took so much of what I wrote personally, or tried to analyze the posts too much. Nothing to analyze here.

Lots has been happening! We’re currently experiencing the coronavirus hysteria—LA is going on lockdown pretty soon I think. Mar and Mike postponed their wedding, as did Fern and Flor. It’s strange when the entire country experiences something together. The vibe is different, mostly because there is fear in the air. And of course, like when there was hatred and fear of Middle Easterners after 9/11, now ignorant peeps are fearing the yellow-skinned orientals and spread of the “Chinese virus.”

What’s been new with me…I’ve been substitute teaching ESL at the local language schools. I like it a lot even though some of the students just look at their phones the whole time. I’m supposed to enforce the no-phones policy, but since I’m just a sub, I rarely do. I don’t want to the be the babysitter who thinks she’s the mom. I’m the fun sub—you remember the feeling of walking into class and seeing a sub, and going “Yesss!” I want all the students to see me and fist pump a yes.

The other thing that’s been up with me is that I’ve been trying to follow the “millionaire morning routine.” It entails waking up early, meditating, journaling, and creating to-do lists. I started on March 2, and it has been a lifechanger for me. I thought I would struggle with the meditation, but I just listen and follow a guided meditation on Youtube, and it’s great. I have been journaling too, but morning journaling is different from nighttime journaling, like I do (did/will do) with this blog. This type of journaling is superior, since I get to reflect on what happened during the day. Morning journaling is more about basking in the refreshment of a new day. But I do feel much more excited, less rushed, more alive, more motivated since I’ve been waking up early, meditating, and journaling. Mind you early for me means any time before 8. I have an alarm set for 6:45, but since I stay up late, that one usually gets shutdown. Backup alarm for 7:15. Snooze a couple times.

And the last thing…that also started this month…is that I’m reading again. I’ve been trying to read a book a week. I get them from the library. Last week I read a novel by an NPR host, and it was not that great. This week I’m reading “Stillness is the Key” by Ryan Holiday. Dave gave Eddie a copy. Eddie listened to the audiobook, and I’m reading the book now. I was reading it in bed tonight and read the chapter about journaling and all its benefits. I climbed out of bed and fired up the laptop to write this post.

And now I am going back to bed. Should write more tomorrow night. This was so nice.

bookmark_bordertaking care of the ladies

I had my first mammogram today. The idea of it all (eg, the boob squishing) was pretty unpleasant, and I probably would have put it off longer if the universe didn’t guide me towards getting tested. And like most things, there was nothing to be afeared of. It wasn’t as uncomfortable as I imagined. And even though I had to press my cheek (face cheek, not boob cheek or butt cheek) against that plastic panel while the mammographer took the side boob photo, it really wasn’t bad at all. It feels good when you do something good for yourself.

I was the youngest woman there today. Getting a mammogram is a good idea for women <45 years old if you want to catch breast cancer early, and if you’re not afraid of false alarms. False alarms are common, and I wouldn’t be surprised if I got called back for further evaluation. Just trying to stay on top of these things. Next stop: Colonoscopyville.

Tonight we watched Aladdin. And I drank wine that I opened over 2 weeks ago. It was still good!

bookmark_bordermy comfort zone

So today was cool. I taught my first class at the language school. I actually taught 3 classes. But really I shouldn’t even call them classes because they were more like tiny groups. There was nothing to be nervous about. The students were all kind, bright, and motivated to learn. I suppose that’s all a teacher could ever ask for. So yes, it was a success; a step closer to a new career goal taken. And you betta believe I wore my new pants.

When I got called to substitute teach today (that’s how it works—I’m pretty much on-call), a part of me was super excited and nervous. And the other part(icle) of me just wanted to stay home in my pajamas. Not so much out of laziness, but maybe a bit reluctant to step out of the CZ.

One time I decided to “step out of my comfort zone” and go for a boardslide on the flat bar at the skatepark. I was so scared, but I thought I should just give it a try. I skated up to the rail and popped my board up on it (I ollied, didn’t just kickturn on to it), and then immediately lost my balance and slammed my knee into the concrete. So that was a fail.

But that’s actually not even a story about leaving my comfort zone. That’s just a story about skateboarding. And the story of going to the school today and teaching my first class isn’t one about leaving my comfort zone either. It’s about me doing and being a new thing, just as I created for myself.

Though I did leave my literal comfort zone (of yome). I did not want to leave my pink chair, the Fatboy, Charlotte, the Street Fighter, the alkaline water machine, the nondairy ice cream sandwiches, my toothpaste-stained DVDASA shirt, etc. I wasn’t afeared. I’m just a homebody at heart, that’s all.

bookmark_borderheaven knows

Why did I just spend an hour looking at nail wraps online…when I already have like 20 sets of nail wraps waiting to be used? And they probably won’t even last through a solid bouldering session.

Why did I pour a “koffee” kombucha at 1 o’clock in the morning…when I knew I should be drinking wine instead?

Enough of those questions!

What a spectacular weekend. I was so lazy. We just slept and slept and ate delicious food and played Street Fighter.

Energy feels a little low right now though. I should meditate and see what gift of a dream I have tonight.

bookmark_bordernot afeared

Lots have been happening. I’ve been really trying to focus on embracing new experiences and trying not to be scared of new opportunities. Amay from the climbing gym totally hooked up the teaching gig for me. And even though I have no idea how to conduct a classroom or deliver an entire lesson, I will be attempting to do so some time in the near future. I even bought new pants for it. So that’s exciting.

In other huge news, I used Google to diagnose Charlotte with bilious vomiting syndrome, and now I’m treating her with famotidine (Pepcid). It seems to be working. She is healing.

Tomorrow we’ll be at the clinic all day. I was going to say that we’re hoping for good news from the doctor, but I have faith and no doubt that the quantum field is responding to my positive energy and creating what is right for us.

We’ll be missing Andy Choi’s funeral, and we’ll forever be missing Andy Choi. Rest in paradise, you are truly one of a kind homie.

It’s 1:19am. Which means it’s wine o’clock.

bookmark_borderunder the fog fog fog

Had a nice weekend, even though the days of the week get blurred for me. I was so lazy and my brain was very foggy. Probably from fighting off the bugs at chemo, not eating healthy/square meals, and napping off schedule. But now that Mercury is out of retrograde, I should be getting into rhythm.

I’m planning on waking up early so I’m going to go to bed now.