I had my first mammogram today. The idea of it all (eg, the boob squishing) was pretty unpleasant, and I probably would have put it off longer if the universe didn’t guide me towards getting tested. And like most things, there was nothing to be afeared of. It wasn’t as uncomfortable as I imagined. And even though I had to press my cheek (face cheek, not boob cheek or butt cheek) against that plastic panel while the mammographer took the side boob photo, it really wasn’t bad at all. It feels good when you do something good for yourself.
I was the youngest woman there today. Getting a mammogram is a good idea for women <45 years old if you want to catch breast cancer early, and if you’re not afraid of false alarms. False alarms are common, and I wouldn’t be surprised if I got called back for further evaluation. Just trying to stay on top of these things. Next stop: Colonoscopyville.
Tonight we watched Aladdin. And I drank wine that I opened over 2 weeks ago. It was still good!
So today was cool. I taught my first class at the language school. I actually taught 3 classes. But really I shouldn’t even call them classes because they were more like tiny groups. There was nothing to be nervous about. The students were all kind, bright, and motivated to learn. I suppose that’s all a teacher could ever ask for. So yes, it was a success; a step closer to a new career goal taken. And you betta believe I wore my new pants.
When I got called to substitute teach today (that’s how it works—I’m pretty much on-call), a part of me was super excited and nervous. And the other part(icle) of me just wanted to stay home in my pajamas. Not so much out of laziness, but maybe a bit reluctant to step out of the CZ.
One time I decided to “step out of my comfort zone” and go for a boardslide on the flat bar at the skatepark. I was so scared, but I thought I should just give it a try. I skated up to the rail and popped my board up on it (I ollied, didn’t just kickturn on to it), and then immediately lost my balance and slammed my knee into the concrete. So that was a fail.
But that’s actually not even a story about leaving my comfort zone. That’s just a story about skateboarding. And the story of going to the school today and teaching my first class isn’t one about leaving my comfort zone either. It’s about me doing and being a new thing, just as I created for myself.
Though I did leave my literal comfort zone (of yome). I did not want to leave my pink chair, the Fatboy, Charlotte, the Street Fighter, the alkaline water machine, the nondairy ice cream sandwiches, my toothpaste-stained DVDASA shirt, etc. I wasn’t afeared. I’m just a homebody at heart, that’s all.
Why did I just spend an hour looking at nail wraps online…when I already have like 20 sets of nail wraps waiting to be used? And they probably won’t even last through a solid bouldering session.
Why did I pour a “koffee” kombucha at 1 o’clock in the morning…when I knew I should be drinking wine instead?
Enough of those questions!
What a spectacular weekend. I was so lazy. We just slept and slept and ate delicious food and played Street Fighter.
Energy feels a little low right now though. I should meditate and see what gift of a dream I have tonight.
Lots have been happening. I’ve been really trying to focus on embracing new experiences and trying not to be scared of new opportunities. Amay from the climbing gym totally hooked up the teaching gig for me. And even though I have no idea how to conduct a classroom or deliver an entire lesson, I will be attempting to do so some time in the near future. I even bought new pants for it. So that’s exciting.
In other huge news, I used Google to diagnose Charlotte with bilious vomiting syndrome, and now I’m treating her with famotidine (Pepcid). It seems to be working. She is healing.
Tomorrow we’ll be at the clinic all day. I was going to say that we’re hoping for good news from the doctor, but I have faith and no doubt that the quantum field is responding to my positive energy and creating what is right for us.
We’ll be missing Andy Choi’s funeral, and we’ll forever be missing Andy Choi. Rest in paradise, you are truly one of a kind homie.
It’s 1:19am. Which means it’s wine o’clock.
Had a nice weekend, even though the days of the week get blurred for me. I was so lazy and my brain was very foggy. Probably from fighting off the bugs at chemo, not eating healthy/square meals, and napping off schedule. But now that Mercury is out of retrograde, I should be getting into rhythm.
I’m planning on waking up early so I’m going to go to bed now.
Do you believe in astrology? I have used it as a source of guidance since I was in junior high. It’s probably why I’m okay with being such a homebody (cancer in a shell) and why I only have two friends who are aquarius. But I stopped reading my daily horoscope about five years ago, when I felt like I was smooth sailing and didn’t need any of the intel from the stars.
I started reading them again recently though. Mostly because I wonder about my career path, especially after shelving the prospect of getting a PhD (I asked a legit Magic 8 Ball—one with real astrologic powers, not one from Walmart—whether I should go for the PhD, and it said no.) And now I am pursuing other things, and my daily horoscopes give me the confidence in knowing that I’m doing the right thing.
A lot of smart people who I look up to think horoscopes are for idiots. That’s fine. They probably have zero awareness of the multiple levels of consciousness. Also fine. But what I do know is that the closer I get to reaching the fifth level of consciousness, the more accurate my horoscopes are. For instance, they said I’d have a job interview. They also said I’d have a funeral to attend. I may or may not go.
Anyway, universal powers are real. You are more powerful than you think.
Eddie bought some frozen vegan junk foods from Whole Foods, like mini corndogs and chicken nuggets. They were delicious. I just wish I had the McD’s honey mustard and bbq dipping sauces. And did you know I’m a “pop vegan” now. That’s a term I coined for a follower of a mostly vegan/plant-based diet. Oh, it’ll catch on.
I’m off to bed. I worked a bunch tonight, mostly on TESOL stuff. The class is turning out to be hard work.
And yes, I still eat brie with diced apples and honey.
Today I found out that the homie Andy Choi passed away. Cancer. I had no idea he was even sick, even though he popped into my mind these past few days. I remember I wrote a blog post on the previous version of rjk.com about how he clowned me for wearing knee pads when I was skating the ramp at the skatepark. He didn’t say a word to me that day, but when he saw me weeks later: “Hey Jenny! Where are your pads? Hahaha!”
And suddenly he is gone, though possibly reincarnated into a sea animal or something else that is funny and does whatever it wants.
I am sad and I was scared–the malignancy of cancer felt much too real. Eddie asked me several times today if I’m okay. I am okay, because I can’t not be okay if I’m really trying to reach the fifth dimension of consciousness.
And so we focus on positivity, healing, and love.
Today was a wonderful day, as I learned another new thing. I learned how to make congee/juk. I won’t bore you with the recipe, but I used 1/2 c of short rice and 1/2 c of sweet rice. And 6 c of homemade mushroom stock. It is Charlotte approved.
I left the apartment building to go bouldering. I didn’t send anything. But I drove my car home very fast to make up for it.
This blog is working.
Today was actually a productive day even though the only times I left the apartment building were when I walked Choochie. That’s how most of my days are actually, except today’s productivity level was above average.
I got a lot of work for work done and had a photo session for st_mdna (technically didn’t leave the apartment building for that either). Then I beat the #2 Street Fighter II guy on the leaderboard. Made Purple Carrot’s kimchi burritos (👎🏽). Watched Big Little Lies and Nicole Kidman’s knockout of an alien head. But the best thing was that we learned how to perform the lost mode of prayer. And it seems really good.
Yes, stop wasting time with cheap prayers that don’t work because the quantum field or God will never hear them. Pray like a pro.
- Declare what you’re doing. I’m praying to heal my sore ankle.
- Feel what you’re praying for. Feel the joy of having a solid ankle. Feel what it’s like to be able to run and climb with a healthy ankle.
- Close the prayer like what you’re praying for already happened. Thank you for my awesome, strong ankle.
L’alam al-mein amen.